How did things manage to get to this point? He messed up. He knew he did and there was simply no getting over that anymore. The grip on his heart, the pain he felt from the other, especially at his heart—like it was being ripped out—hurt. It always hurt so much. He had left the boy so abruptly and he knew deep down how exactly that would hurt him. He knew how much they truly meant to each other and he couldn’t let that go. So to him, he didn’t. He never said good-bye so he never had to leave. Good-byes were forever and he just knew that he wouldn’t be able to handle something like that. He cared too much to just abandon their relationship. And the only way he knew how to keep it was to destroy it and then build it back up. If he had said good-bye that day and had kept everything between them perfect like I had been, that would have been the end of it. Sometimes he wished he knew how to explain that, but he never really did know how.

Maybe he knew deep down that they would never truly have that relationship again with him. Now that he thought of it, it would be silly to think that they could. It simply couldn’t happen now that time had passed. Too much had happened to each of them; they had grown so much on their own—or at least Arthur had. He seemed to have grown so much, and he was proud of who he had become. He was strong; he was something to be admired, at least that was what he thought. And he certainly wasn’t going to change that thought anytime soon. No, he would always hold this man in some kind of high regard—he simply couldn’t think any other way.

But seeing that back yet again, and feeling that strong tug at his heart, he knew none of this was going to be easy. There was just no way for it to be. Those ties that he had so carefully woven for them had been shattered and new ones had to be made if there were to ever be anything like what they had. He had to start anew, but… there was the problem of breaking that first barrier. That was the most important one to get over, and it was not going to be easy.

‘I… I’m sorry.’ It almost felt odd apologising. But right then, he was a little desperate. ‘I don’t… I don’t know how to make you understand why I did what I did.’ He was tentative about it, but he took those few steps closer towards the other, keeping his eyes on that narrow back. It had just been too long… It really had been and he only had himself to blame for it. But he had to tell himself it was for the best that he did it. He had to. If he wanted to salvage their relationship, it had to have been done. So with a sigh, he closed his eyes and carefully wrapped his arms around the man’s waist. He was scared that he would pull away, and yet he was half expecting him to. Considering how things had been going, he really should not be surprised but it. But with his chance, he buried his face in that back, and kept muttering, ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean for everything to wrong like that. I just couldn’t say good-bye to you. You meant too much. You still do. So forgive me. For hurting you like that.’

Arthur was frozen. The apology reeked of sincerity. And as he continued speaking, he couldn’t bring himself to up and leave as he so wanted to. He didn’t want to forgive the angel. The angel had hurt him in a way that had made him weak, and that in and of itself was not a reason to never talk to him again. Things that weakened him were not worth keeping around; Because Arthur Kirkland was not weak.

But he was torn. Torn as he felt the warm arms surround his midsection. Part of him wanted to melt into the embrace. Not just to melt into it, but to return it with reciprocated affection. It wasn’t as if anyone ever received embraces from Arthur as forthright as he had wanted to give to Britannia Angel just now, anyways. If they got that far. It wasn’t often he embraced anyone at all. Even in this moment with the breeze weaving it’s way through them and the garden, on display for any passer by-er to see, he couldn’t help but feel…at ease.

But.

The other half, was quite opposite, and quite loud. It said to him— screamed at him, to pull away. To push that blasted angel into the dirt and tell him his apologies were empty. Were lies. Arthur wouldn’t so easily be pulled into a futile grasp at a healthy relationship. With someone…good for him…best interest at heart. That just couldn’t be true. This just couldn’t be true. Britannia Angel couldn’t truly be back looking to rekindle their long since broken relationship at such a chance meeting as this. Not after all this time they’d lost…all this time he’d aged…

Arthur finally shook his head, trembling hands pushing down the Angel’s arms from his waist. “I…” There was nothing he could think to say. There was nothing he could wish to take…to receive from the angel…what he wanted was the angel’s undying love and affection.

He knew it.

And within his own head he could quietly admit it to himself. Shamefully admit it to himself.

“…I can’t trust that you won’t leave me again. I can’t trust that you won’t leave me again.” And no matter what the angel said, he couldn’t ever trust that anyone wouldn’t leave him again. Not that he hadn’t come to terms with this fact. There was no denying it. Relations with other countries grew strong and fell weak. People died.

Nothing was ever certain for long. And time was always lingering over his head reminding him that while he may be happy today, tomorrow was always carrying the chance that he was be alone again. And if Britannia Angel was to leave once more…he wasn’t sure if he could handle it.

“But…you…you should…you should come in for tea.” He spoke before he thought. And in his mind he knew part of him was dying knowing just this day could be their last together…but for some reason…he felt the need to quiet that voice…and venture down a path he rarely used…an optimistic one.

As expected, the other was quite…punctual as to what was being said and done from his lips. Kuro watched the other man with a seeming interest, the smile on his lips still playing, even as Arthur expanded upon his words and made his point for idle chatter meaningless. Of course Arthur would wish to rush this conversation and remove his presence from him… Of course it would not be a big deal to him, nor would he want to indulge in his visitation… The empire was not important to the British man, nor anything of desire…not anymore.

But that did not matter to Kuro. He had business with the man…and this business involved, actually, the very fact that was on Kuro’s mind. His unimportance…when in reality, he should have been important…

…very important…considering he would not go easy on him in this moment.

“Ah, that is all fine and appropriate,” Kuro seemed to agree with the man, nodding as he reclined back against the couch. “The business, is actually, nothing that should be too foreign to you, Asa-san… You see…” He leaned forward suddenly, grabbing the other man by the face as he forced him to look into his eyes, crimson staring intently into deep green. “…I have not forgotten where you have left me, Asa-san… I do not appreciate the betrayal, nor ruin, you tried to leave on the empire.” His smile grew wider, forming a wicked smirk. “I have come to the conclusion that it would be wise to…address this issue with you in an appropriate manner.”

Arthur nodded as Kuro spoke, removing his ankle and leaning forward to pick up his tea cup again. But just as he had griped the small handle, nimble fingers called Arthur’s attention in an undeniable way. His face was blank as he felt the hand tighten around his jaw.

And Arthur couldn’t help but let out a quiet chuckle, not gracing the Asian with his direct eye contact for much longer. Looking away the chuckle returned, though he couldn’t quite pinpoint what had sent such a dark ting through his nature. Kuro. Kuro. He could always bring forth the worst in Arthur. 

“It’s rather amusing you speak of ‘appropriate mannerisms’ whilst acting completely inappropriate.” Arthur reached up and gripped the small wrist with crippling strength, removing it from his chin. “When in my home, Kuro, I’d like very much for you to respect me.” He tightened his hand around the other’s wrist lowing it. “Once we’ve established said respect I assure you I’d be willing to speak with you about the condition ’the emipre’ was left in.” Arthur released the small wrist, interlacing his fingers with his own.

“Fair enough, old chum?” He asked, looking at the empire almost condescendingly.

Oh Kuro. Unpredictable as always.